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Half Sick Of Shadows
i wana see the sky
Created on 2008-08-18 12:13:58 (#16387558), never updated
0 comments received, 1,723 comments posted
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1 Journal Entry, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 12 Userpics
| Name: | black_shalott |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1953-01-17 |
| Location: | United States |

That mans gunna be my death because he's all I've ever wanted in my life.
Andromeda Black was born to Cygnus and Druella Black on a day painted gray that carried a small flicker of hope for snow. Her first two years of life were mainly uneventful; by the time she could mumbles her older sister's name, Narcissa was born and Bella was much more enthralled with a sister who had pale blonde hair then a toddler who was pushed on her for two years. The next seven years of her life consisted of first watching, but then helping Bellatrix raise Cissy and playing with her. By the time the eldest went off to Hogwarts, the three sisters were very close and inseparable. Andromeda spent the months Bella was at school taking care of Cissy and trying to turn into that prefect daughter her mother always wanted (though, she really didn't need to try, Narcissa was doing that for her).
By the time Andromeda turned 11, she was off to Hogwarts and sorted into the Slytherin House, a moment that filled her with complete and utter joy when she looked out into the table and saw her older sister beaming at her proudly. She missed her younger sister, but she really did like it there. The school was so large, and now she could finally spend time with Bellatrix. At least, that was what she thought but...honestly, what girl would want to be caught dead at her school with her younger sister always tagging along? She saw Bella occasionally, but Andromeda was mostly left alone; making friends was never really one of her strong points and she never learned how to interact with anyone aside from high class pure bloods and her sisters. She couldn't imagine how Bellatrix managed it but...it didn't really matter.
Her first friend was a mudblood girl from Hufflepuff. She was bubbly and friendly, she was basically everything Andromeda needed at that time. When Bellatrix found out, she screamed at her younger sister mercilessly; Andromeda was terrified, she had never seen her sister this angry, never. She soon began to find that Bellatrix had been getting angry more frequently. She'd hear rumors of her arguing with teachers frequently, she had even seen her screaming insults and threats at poor wizards younger then her that accidentally knocked into her in the hallway. She had thought (hoped) that Bella was just going through a phase, that maybe she should leave her older sister alone because the stress from school was beating down on her.
She never got the chance to give her sister space, however. Bella began to worry that Andromeda was alone too often and introduced her to a bunch of students her age that sometimes sat with Bella and her friends. All the boys and girls Andromeda was now obligated to be friends with were pureblooded and had strong beliefs about Blood Supremacy. She had always heard Mother and Father talking about Mudbloods and Half Bloods, but she never really thought she'd get sucked into that world. The next four years consisted of Andromeda sitting with the same group of people and making little comments every here and there where it was considered appropriate. No one ever thought much about the fact that Andromeda hardly spoke up; she was a cold and quiet girl and so long as she was there for eye candy, what did they care? Andromeda was a very very gorgeous girl.
Bella used to always be there to make sure Andromeda was hanging out with the correct people, but ever since the previous year where Cissy had started going to Hogwarts, the raven haired girl hadn't had much time for the middle sister. Not only that, but Bellatrix had recently started disappearing with her friends who were also seventh years. This gave Andromeda the opportunity to slip off whenever she wanted to and began spending a lot of time in the astronomy tower and library, reading. Her 'friends' first would always question where she had been, but after they found they couldn't get much out of her, they stopped trying and forgot about it. The other kids' concern only wanted to make her sneak away more; her betrothed was in that group and she couldn't stomach the fact of marrying and then bedding him. She knew better then to tell her family this though; after she turned 13, she fully understood the cruelties of her family and its traditions.
One day, when she had snuck off into the library, a boy from Hufflepuff sat next to her. She first tried ignoring him, but soon found it impossible when he began prodding at and picking on her. Finally, she slammed her book down and gave him a full on glare. 'Would you please refrain yourself!?' She demanded, quite annoyed by the fact that this boy would not leave her alone. But, he just gave her a cheeky grin and continued talking to her. At first, this fact frustrated her to no extent. However, right before she was about to stand up, he pointed out a fact about her fiance, a fact that Andromeda had been thinking over ever since they were introduced: the way he always snorted every two minutes or so. The girl stared at him in awe as he continued about how he had to skip out of study hall because her finance was just that annoying with his habit. Ted finished with a 'And, here I am.' to explain why he was in the library.
Andromeda stared at him with an 'I can't believe you just said that' expression on her face before the corners of her mouth started turning up and she burst out laughing (which embarrassed her a few short seconds later, when they looked up to see that Andromeda Black was cackling in a library). Quickly regaining herself, she shot Ted a gaze and asked 'If you just wanted to study, why in Salazar's name are you talking to me?' He just gave her that same cheeky 'good 'ol boy' smile and replied 'Because I saw how sad you were. I've seen how sad you've been since we were first years and...I know you're different.' Andromeda was going to shoot back a comment about him being a stalker, but realized she couldn't say something so half hearted. His words sank in and stung. Gathering up her books, she stood up and shot him a glare. 'Mind your own business, Mudblood.' And with that, she left.
The next day, when she was in the library, the same boy sat down next to her. When she gave him a quizzical look, he replied 'You didn't mean it.' And after that, they began meeting more and more often. Ted (she learned his name was) always found a way to make her smile and seemed to find it hilarious when she shot him a glare or when he figured out one of her cute little habits. She soon began to skip out on her friends not for books, but for the boy himself. She knew it was stupid, a Black should never converse with a Muggle Born, but she just couldn't help herself. She was addicted to the boy; he was like chocolate, one piece was never enough and always left you wanting more. And...she soon began to develop...feelings of some sort for the boy, for Ted. It was almost the end of her fifth year, and the group of friends she had been obligated to pretend to like had caught her laughing with the Hufflepuff boy. Instead of confronting her...
They confronted Bellatrix. Bella, was anything but pleased. A giant fight broke out. She threatened Andy, she yelled about how Andy promised her this wasn't going to happen again, that during her first year, she promised not to have any Mudblood friends again. But that wasn't all, Bellatrix began to prod and probe, asking her if she had shagged the boy, if she was cheating on her fiance. Andromeda denied this, she claimed that she and Ted were just friends, but Bellatrix wouldn't hear of it. When she went off to marry Rudoulphus, she told her family to keep a close eye on the middle sister and made the reason why clear. Her father was furious. Not only did he threaten to have her burnt off the family tree, but he also demanded that she got married right after she graduated her seventh year as punishment and to make sure she always had a responsible man watching her.
When she came back to Hogwarts her sixth year, her friends gave her looks of disgust and betrayal. It didn't bother her really, she didn't like them. What did bother her was the reluctance her younger sister had when she approached her. It was almost like she was afraid to speak to her. 'They all think you slept with him, you know'. Narcissa had commented one night. Andromeda looked up from where she was studying on the common room couch and said 'I know, but I didn't.' Somehow, Cissy had convinced her to confront her 'friends'. She had apologized and claimed that she didn't know what had gone through her mind. When she used to word 'Mudblood' to describe Ted, a sob almost broke through her throat. The others didn't seem to notice; they all were just glad that the lovely and beautiful Andromeda Black was back, and her fiance snorted and then smiled in relief. It appeared that she would do anything to make her Father happy and to stay with that horrible family of hers, even if it meant insulting the boy that she knew she loved.
She made herself sick.
Whenever Ted tried to approach her, she'd brush him off, she'd walk away, or she'd pretend she didn't hear him. Whenever he sent her an Owl, she'd read it, choke back tears, and refuse to reply. Merlin, she loved that boy. She soon learned to avoid the library, because he was always there with a faint hope of seeing her. She soon began to skip out on her friends again (whom she had to assure many times that she was NOT seeing Ted) and hid in the astronomy tower with her face buried in books upon books. Her fiance was starting to demand physical affection and it was all she could do to not vomit in his face. Aside from meals, soon all her free time was spent in that empty building where she could escape into a fantasy where life was fair and love triumphed.
It was the end of her sixth year.She didn't know how he found her, but he was covered in water from the downpour outside and he was panting as if he had been running. She was shocked; no one ever came here during the day time (always the night, so they could snog in the shadows) and the fact that Ted of all people had found her...'What are you-' she began, but was cut off when he closed the distance between them and hugged her close to his chest. Her heart fluttered. In that minute, she knew she couldn't leave him, she needed Ted like oxygen. It was then that she began to cry, something that she never did because crying was a weakness in the House of Black. Her life was a mistake, it was wrong, she always knew that, but suddenly, it all registered. She lived a life where a girl was considered less then a person, where her only purpose was to produce men to be heirs to money. They were forced into emotional slavery and all of them went with it because they are told by everyone that 'that is just the way'. She felt so sick...and it terrified her. It terrified her that somewhere in the past, fathers began preaching that belief, it scared her that they still did from an early age and it scared her that women and innocent girls believed her. But, what scared her most was that if she didn't meet Ted, she would be just like them.
It was seventh year, the year of mischief and mayhem. Andromeda rarely spent time with her fiends now, except for meals. They all thought she was off somewhere reading a book of some sort, but she and Ted had already began dating and were sneaking around anywhere they wouldn't be found. Sometimes, they'd almost be spotted and they'd run laughing and smiling until they could run no longer. Her Hogsmead trips were spent inside the castle, sneaking into the Hufflepuff common room with Ted when no one was there and giggling over those Muggle 'movies' that Ted had brought to watch on a portable TV. The last day of her seventh year, Andromeda boarded the Hogwarts express in a baseball cap and muggle clothing, giving her the appearance of a boy. Her family looked for her frantically when the train arrived at its stop. But, they were looking for a proper supreme Pure Blooded girl. And Andromeda had never been that in her entire life.
She and Ted had gotten married the next day and had it publicly announced in the News Paper. Her mother and Father rushed over to Walburga's house and had their middle daughter's picture burned from the family tree. All was well though, Ted had rebuilt a house in the middle of a forest outside of muggle London where they could live and later have their daughter, Nymphadora Tonks, two years later (whom she named after the poem about how Greek Andromeda was saved from the sea monster). Ted went off to work to support the family while Andromeda stayed home and raised her strange child (which she later found was known as a Metamorphmagus) and cleaned the house with the help of a house elf Ted had purchased. When Ted had vacation, the three of them would go one trips to different countries in Europe that they had saved up for to find books on what it was Nymphadora was. Andromeda's life became a daily routine, but she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. The last she had heard, her sister had become a famous death eater while her blonde Cissy was soon to be wed to Malfoy. She shakes her head in pity whenever she reads these things in the paper, and swears to herself that she will protect her daughter from the evil she had escaped from.
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